I've received a flurry of Emails from readers recently. I normally receive about an average of one a week, but lately there have been many more.
Whilst I don't have time to answer every one, I do read them all with interest and I'm truly grateful for all the wonderful feedback I get. The Emails reaffirm my resolve that writing Web of Lies and Renaissance was the right thing to do. I set out to share a very difficult story in the hope that it would raise awareness and help other victims to recognise the traits of NPD and APD. The feedback I get from readers shows me that I acheived my goal.
I know I haven't blogged for a long time. Real life took over! The kids are getting older, my working hours are getting longer. I have less 'time' for anything, it would seem. I've become a master procrastinator!
I still have lots of stuff to say. There are hundreds of blog posts in my head, and even about 40% of a third book already on paper....but alas, I've lost my 'Author' way of late. I need to find it again!
This week signals the fifth anniversary since me and the children last layed eyes on the Narcopath. In a way it still seems like yesterday. I can still picture his face as he said his last goodbye to the children, unable to look me in the eye.
It was the best thing he ever did for us and I remain grateful to this day that he left.
Yes, it's been a bloody tough five years. Yes, there have been times when I've felt true gut-wrenching desperation, even as things were seemingly improving for us. The cuts are deep, and they take a very long time to heal. But they are healing, slowly but surely. It just takes time!
This is why I want to acknowledge some of the recent Emails I've received. I want to reassure people that time does improve things, and that even though things seem dreadful now, they will start to improve, if you work really hard at it.
I've been amazed and horrified at some of the stories I've been told. I get upset and angry when I read about the havoc wreaked by these cold hearted, spineless men and women on their partners and children, not to mention the ripple effects on other family members and friends. I sometimes want to reach out to the victims and just give them a hug. 'I know how you feel' is all I can offer though. Sometimes it's good to just know that others understand, and that you're not going mad. We've all felt as though we were crazy during this roller coaster ride.
As I said, there are too many Emails to answer now, but I do wish to address a couple of people individually:
Linda: Hang in there. What you're going through now is the very worst part. It may not seem like it now but it can only get better from here on in. Try to stay positive and believe that you have a future. Get some help from those who love you. If they really love you, the WILL believe you.
Nancy: Be strong for the kids and draw strength from them! They will keep you going through all the bad stuff. Us Mum's have got endless amounts of strength inside, even if it doesn't feel like we have! Keep your parents close and tell them you love them and you're grateful for all that help. They're amazing parents. Treasure them.
Gayle: Your Email made me cry! Thank YOU for your words. I'm so pleased the book helped you!
Cynthia: Your mail really moved me too. You have been through hell and it has gone on for so long! My heart goes out to you. It's such a difficult situation with your daughter and I really feel for you. But she's an adult and she must decide for herself. All you can do is try to support her and understand. The chances are she's going to need you in the future, so you have to stay strong for her sake.
I really believe that you will be OK, it's never too late to turn things around. You've already taken the first step and that's almost half the battle! Please let me know how you get on.
Theresa: There are exceptions to every rule and maybe we shouldn't generalise by saying categorically that a person will or won't behave a certain way. Once thing about PD's is they are truly unpredictable. In your situation though, he did you a favor! Don't puzzle too much as to why he did it. Just be grateful that he did. You're much better off now.
Finally, to all those who have asked about writing a book, I say go for it! Journaling is a good way to start. That's how my books were born. Blogging is also a very good way to get your message out there to a wide audience. Even if you don't end up publishing, writing about your experience is amazingly theraputic and can help you to look back and see things much more clearly.
Thanks again for the mails. Please join me on Facebook (link on the left) for more updates and links to useful articles and resources.
Good luck to all for a peaceful and narcopath free festive season!