Sunday, July 29, 2012

Single Mum? Yeah....and PROUD!!

We just returned from our annual sojourn in Italy.

It's not really a big deal, just ten days on a camp-site, by the sea, just the four of us.

We go 'basic'. We take our own food, all our own 'kit' and we 'muck in' together. No five star luxury required!

It's probably the most rewarding and fulfilling ten days of the year that I ever spend. I know I've written about this before, but I just felt the need to re-iterate how very, utterly, proud I am to be a single mum.

The camp-site was full of 'normal' families. Mom, dad, and 2.4 kids. Did we stand out? Yes, we did. We were definitely the only single parent family on the camp-site. Is this a problem? NO!

It's taken me four long years to become truly proud of what I'm doing. It's taken four long years of pain and regret to finally arrive at a place where I can say I'm truly confident that I'm on my own with these kids, and I'm doing a great job!

We are a very solid family unit, and we don't need anybody else. Yes, it's true!

We don't actually NEED that man, that person, who was never going to ever live up to expectations.

He was but a mechanism which enabled us to become what we are now!

Thank you, Mr Tate

Thank you!

I want to thank you now

From the bottom of my heart,

Not for the pain you caused,

Or the lives you’ve torn apart,

I want to thank you now,

For the person you’ve become,

You’ve accepted what you are,

That you’ll never be someone,

The pain has grasped you now,

Biting deep within your soul,

Nothing you could do now

Could replace the lives you stole,

You are a fading shadow,

Of a life which went to waste,

All those opportunities,

Can never be replaced,

You think you have it in you,

The love you clearly seek

, Yet you could never reach it,

For that part of you is weak,

You believed you had a need for it,

A capacity to share,

But sadly now, you realise,

That gift was never there,

You became consumed in self deceit,

In narcissistic thought,

A life of puerile fantasy,

Leaving those you touched distraught,

You tried your best, you think you did,

You believe you gave your all,

But in the end, you brought it down,

Your pride led to your fall,

Thank God you left the best with me,

I have all I’ll ever need,

I’m richer than you’ll ever be,

I’m tainted not by greed,

You’ve taught me who I shouldn’t be,

You’ve changed my view of life,

I’ve recognised my worth, you see,

I’m more than some-ones wife,

And that you’ve chosen now to go,

And live your life your way,

It’s for the best, you know it too,

That’s all that I can say,

You are not able to provide

The things we want or need,

You’re not a man who’s capable

Of helping us succeed,

That task is mine and mine alone,

You know you lack the strength,

The choice you made was wholly right,

To keep us at arm’s length,

I see the wisdom in your thoughts,

The reason why you chose,

To leave us all behind at last,

And draw this to its close,

The choice you made is best for us,

Your one last saving grace,

You recognised we’re better off,

If you vanish without trace,

You know you are not worthy of the gifts that you received,

The lives you once destroyed,

The other people you deceived,

And so, I thank you now, I do,

Though others find it strange, They think it odd, you see,

How my attitude has changed,

But I have learned you must forgive,

The ones you should detest,

So I free myself, forgive you now,

And wish you all the best,

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Interview on Dallas Woodburn's blog....

See the blog here Tell us about Web of Lies. What was your inspiration/motivation behind this book? Was it difficult to revisit these memories?

Web of Lies is an emotional rollercoaster which takes the reader on an incredible journey and gives a deep insight into what it’s like to be sucked into the world of a narcissistic psychopath, and moreover, how to escape.

Narcissists and sociopaths live amongst us, yet many people don’t even recognize their character traits and can be easily left distraught and confused thinking that they are the ones with the problem. By telling my story and sharing it with the world, I hoped to help other women (and men) who have fallen for the seemingly endless (yet superficial) charms of one of these individuals. This is not a self-help book, but an honest and emotional account of what it feels like to be entangled in the world of a person whose reality is different to our own. Leading psychologist Dr David Holmes recommends the book to his psychology students as an extremely valuable case study. Apart from being a gripping read, it’s an important book for all those who have suffered in an unhappy relationship.

I had been encouraged by friends and relatives to write down the extraordinary events which happened to myself and the children. I was doing some research on the web about the psychological effects may be for us, when I came across an article on NPD & APD. When I read the article I thought it had been written about my life! I realised then that I had a very important story to tell.

It was quite draining to re-live it all in such detail, and to be honest it was quite difficult to read it all back again when it was finished. The book is of course very condensed, you get six years put into twenty-four chapters, so of course it's more intense than it was in real life. I'm glad I wrote it though, as the feedback I've received has been overwhelming and made it all worthwhile.

What was it like to publish a memoir? Was it a release? Freeing? Was there any anxiety in the publication process? Is publishing a memoir different from publishing fiction?

It was scary. You are laying bare some very raw and emotional events in your life and you don't know how they are going to be received by the readers. There was much trepidation at fist, but it helped that I had a strong belief in the book and it's message. I'd say it has been quite liberating, yes. I know I've helped people, as I get regular Emails to thank me for sharing my story. This has made it liberating for me. It's exactly what I wanted to achieve. I've not yet published my first novel so I can't say if it's a different process.

How did you get started writing?

Web of Lies was my first book, but I've always enjoyed writing and have written poetry and short stories for as long as I can remember.

What is your writing process like?

Computer. I plan out each chapter and exactly what I want it to achieve. I do this in some detail. Then, I go back and 'fill in the gaps'!

How do you get ideas for what you write?

Well, obviously the first two books are based on my own experience so that was easy! My third book is a novel called The Middle Aged Twist -- with this book I have used examples from real life as well as a lot of imagination. I'm really enjoying creating characters and watching them take on their own life in my mind.

What are some of your favorite books?

Anything by Stephen King, Emma Donoghue (in particular, Room), Jodie Piccoult or Patricia Cornwell. I love psychological thrillers or historical fiction, but I'm also not adverse to some chick lit from time to time!

What is your biggest advice for young people reaching for their dreams?

Go for it and believe! Keep trying and never give up. Don't let negative energy from others dissuade you. Remove negative energy from your life and stay focused!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Tom Cruise.....

What more does one need to say? Can anybody watch this video and still think this guy is sane??

I pity him. He's so far up his own backside, he lost the wood for the trees years (maybe even decades) ago.

All I can say it this:

'WELL DONE KATIE!' You finally saw the light, and now you're doing something about getting away from this complete and utter lost cause ( and I don't just refer to Mr 'I am God' Cruise, but also the pathetic and unstable ( yet apparently monied) SECT he represents.

Not least...why does Scientology attract certain typeof person??

For now. I just hope that the little child he has paraded in front of the paps for the first six years of her life (they LOVE to show off what they've 'achieved') finally gets the peace and normality a child of her age deserves.

And for now, I'll happily declare this: