Author of 'Web of Lies - My Life with a Narcissist' and 'Renaissance - A Journal of Discovery'
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Single Mum? Yeah....and PROUD!!
We just returned from our annual sojourn in Italy.
It's not really a big deal, just ten days on a camp-site, by the sea, just the four of us.
We go 'basic'. We take our own food, all our own 'kit' and we 'muck in' together. No five star luxury required!
It's probably the most rewarding and fulfilling ten days of the year that I ever spend. I know I've written about this before, but I just felt the need to re-iterate how very, utterly, proud I am to be a single mum.
The camp-site was full of 'normal' families. Mom, dad, and 2.4 kids. Did we stand out? Yes, we did. We were definitely the only single parent family on the camp-site. Is this a problem? NO!
It's taken me four long years to become truly proud of what I'm doing. It's taken four long years of pain and regret to finally arrive at a place where I can say I'm truly confident that I'm on my own with these kids, and I'm doing a great job!
We are a very solid family unit, and we don't need anybody else. Yes, it's true!
We don't actually NEED that man, that person, who was never going to ever live up to expectations.
He was but a mechanism which enabled us to become what we are now!
Thank you, Mr Tate
I want to thank you now
From the bottom of my heart,
Not for the pain you caused,
Or the lives you’ve torn apart,
I want to thank you now,
For the person you’ve become,
You’ve accepted what you are,
That you’ll never be someone,
The pain has grasped you now,
Biting deep within your soul,
Nothing you could do now
Could replace the lives you stole,
You are a fading shadow,
Of a life which went to waste,
All those opportunities,
Can never be replaced,
You think you have it in you,
The love you clearly seek,
Yet you could never reach it,
For that part of you is weak,
You believed you had a need for it,
A capacity to share,
But sadly now, you realise,
That gift was never there,
You became consumed in self deceit,
In narcissistic thought,
A life of puerile fantasy,
Leaving those you touched distraught,
You tried your best, you think you did,
You believe you gave your all,
But in the end, you brought it down,
Your pride led to your fall,
Thank God you left the best with me,
I have all I’ll ever need,
I’m richer than you’ll ever be,
I’m tainted not by greed,
You’ve taught me who I shouldn’t be,
You’ve changed my view of life,
I’ve recognised my worth, you see,
I’m more than some-ones wife,
And that you’ve chosen now to go,
And live your life your way,
It’s for the best, you know it too,
That’s all that I can say,
You are not able to provide
The things we want or need,
You’re not a man who’s capable
Of helping us succeed,
That task is mine and mine alone,
You know you lack the strength,
The choice you made was wholly right,
To keep us at arm’s length,
I see the wisdom in your thoughts,
The reason why you chose,
To leave us all behind at last,
And draw this to its close,
The choice you made is best for us,
Your one last saving grace,
You recognised we’re better off,
If you vanish without trace,
You know you are not worthy of the gifts that you received,
The lives you once destroyed,
The other people you deceived,
And so, I thank you now, I do,
Though others find it strange,
They think it odd, you see,
How my attitude has changed,
But I have learned you must forgive,
The ones you should detest,
So I free myself, forgive you now,
And wish you all the best,